29 is a funny age. 30 will be on me in the next month or so. There's a certain limbo between being "young and free" and "settled". You're still young but old enough to know better. You see the responsibilities and the beauty of life ahead of you but feel nostalgic for the top-down, sun-on-your-skin freedom of young adulthood. You don't want to give up the blessings and joys that are toys and sippy cups and jobs and houses, but the memory without them are fresh and cause you to pause. You're one foot in and one foot out of two phases of life.
But does moving into a new period of life mean giving up adventure and spontaneity and who you are? I think some part of society will have you think that. I think some allow the fire to slowly burn out as they settle into life. I know for the past two years I've allowed many things to slowly snuff out my flame that used to burn bright on wild, summer nights. But luckily I have friends and family who have protected my embers and kept them alive. They've slowly whispered life back into the fire behind my eyes.
I want my children to see the same wild, zest for life I had at 25 tempered by wisdom and responsibilities at 30. I want them to watch and learn how to live this life with every ounce of fervor a teenager has for their whole lives. But I want them to do it wisely. There's no need to leave that wild behind, but sometimes we must give up vices and soften the edges a bit.
No, I am not just a thirty year old stay at home mom. I am a tour guide to life for my children. I still look at the world with opportunity, but can lead them with wisdom that adulthood brings. And, yes, there will be plenty more tattoos, but there will be many more conversations about Jesus and how He leads us. This mama may have one or two margaritas before all is said and done but she will have many more prayers and laughs and runs on the beach with her kiddos.
Looking forward to 30 and beyond. The anticipation is the same as 18. I have a whole life of motherhood ahead of me. A new, exciting territory. And if God will bless me, a lot of new experiences and years to celebrate.
