10 years:

We have seen each at our lowest. We have seen each other at our highest. We've loved each other when we were our most unloveable.

We tackled adulthood as two kids. We stumbled, we fell, we each thought about leaving the other behind. However, we didn't. The love that ties us together would only let us go but so far.

We both tried to erase the memory of the other. But we quickly found out that there was not enough whiskey, tequila, or beer to drown away our true loves. We found ourselves in the prodigal son's pigpen, but even there we couldn't shake our hearts' callings.

Those that have attempted to sabotage our lives have quickly seen that they would be a mere shadow compared to the shoes they would have to fill. They've seen that you can't tear apart what was destined to be while we were being knit in our mothers' wombs.

And now the wild-eyed, sideways grin of a boy is a Daddy. A man that is strong and true without the hindrance of vices because the God of Angel armies directs his steps. The wandering, wild heart of a girl is now a Mama. A woman that is wiser and loyal without the doubts and questions of her past because her Deliverer found her and gave her purpose. Two hurricanes collided and have a child who is such a perfect combination of their crazy that only two reformed rebels to reign him in and raise him. But God knew that. That's how he works. He knows the why and how's.

Lucas, our paths were destined to cross and then be intersected for life. You're tattooed on my skin and heart. Because of you I believe in love. I believe in true love. The real kind of true love. The love that is dirty, messy and dangerous. The love that is beautiful, but beautiful like shattered glass shining in the sun. The love that is beautiful because at times it was broken without breaking. True love is loving when it hurts and not just when it feels right. True love is not for the faint of heart. All want it, but not all are willing to go through it. We got it, babe.

The journey of ten years has been adventurous, though not the adventure I had intended upon finding. I hope that these ten years will feel like seconds compared to the decades we have in store for us.

Lately I've asked God in to show me exactly what is in my heart that doesn't belong. It was a loaded invitation but one well worth giving. So far the check list of things I need to fix:

1. My need to compete in a negative way (aka I want to be better than certain people) or take delight when someone I don't like fails.
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Proverbs 24:17-18 Do not gloat when your enemy falls;when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice, or the Lord will see and disapproveand turn his wrath away from them.

2. I am a bossy, know-it-all (if you've ever met anyone in my family you know I get this honestly)
1 Corinthians 8:1b-3 We know that “We all possess knowledge.” But knowledge puffs up while love builds up. Those who think they know something do not yet know as they ought to know. But whoever loves God is known by God.

3. I allow bitterness and unforgiveness to rule my heart.
Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

4. I allow discontent to steal the joy of my present.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

It's funny that He gives pretty cut and dry commands for each area I struggle with. He's good like that. And, the great thing about God is that He only gives us things to change that will help make our lives more fulfilled. He does all things for our good and even the hard things are good things.

Prayers for help in this journey.