The past week has not been an easy one in the sleep department. Babies with snotty noses are not good sleepers. Poor G has been on top of Luke or me every night. I could complain, but I won't.

When I heard his cries and sniffles, I walked into his nursery and softened when his pudgy hands reached for me and his cries silenced as he put his head on my shoulder. My wild man very rarely snuggles so I enjoyed the affection from nursery to bedroom. As I laid with my boy finally sleeping next to me (one, tiny foot pressed against my leg just so he was sure I wouldn't leave him) I cried. I sobbed thinking of the beauty we miss because it's cloaked in sleeplessness and difficulties. I thought of how that exact instant where father and son were sleeping with snores in unison, the house was silent and I was allowed to just soak in the beauty will one day be a precious memory and not a burden. Yes, we all sleep better when little man is in his own bed snoozing without phlegm getting in the way, but good nights get lost in our memory-banks.

I'm not saying that every hard moment is easy to enjoy. There's plenty of nights when I've begged God to let the babe sleep or I've out and out cried out of frustration. Exhaustion is no joke. But I do know that for every difficult moment there's a person that would love to have that "burden". There's a mama who would love to hold her baby boy one more time. She longs to be cried out for in the night. There's a woman who just wants the chance to be someone's mama and would give anything to have someone need her in the night.

My cousin and her husband lost their little boy a month ago. Perhaps it's this tragedy that makes me give thanks, even in the dirty parts of momhood. I can't imagine their loss. But, I am so proud of them for making good out of darkness and for allowing their bright light of a child to have a legacy of good. Sweet Riley will be remembered for his foundation and not his tragedy. Visit their Facebook page and join the cause: /RileysRainbows/