A Leap

In my journey of listening to different sermons I have been enjoying a series from Blue Ridge Community Church. I am finding that I don't enjoy topical bible teaching as much as book studies, but I do enjoy this series and it speaks to my heart (I do not believe there's anything wrong with this style of teaching. It is a personal preference and nothing more). It just goes to show that we cannot always do what we are comfortable with even when it comes to our bible study styles!

What I enjoyed from this sermon were these two points:

"Did Peter really fail?
He took more steps on water than we ever will and than any of the disciples. "

And,

"What's your boat?"

My Boat:
Reputation. I don't want to lose my edge. My reputation of being strong and independent and having a talent at my career.  I don't want to the stereotype of being known as the stay at home mom.
But that's where I'm called. It's not everyone's calling. And I don't say that to say every mom should be at home. Because I don't believe that.

God calls us to our true selves. And if I were honest the rebellious times were not fully who I was. We are not meant to be rebellious. God does not want this for us.  It should no longer shock me God uses many different avenues to teach us the same lesson. But, even so, I was surprised to find in another study I am doing written by Liz Curtis Higgs, it discusses how rebelliousness to God and what He calls us to or His laws is never okay. And, as Christians, a part of our nature we should fight. I am learning that just because I've "cleaned up my act" rebellion is more than outward actions. It's deep within the heart. It's in any sin we flat out refuse to get rid of. That can be refusing to give up worry, to refusing to give up the sin of comparison (which in reality is a form of jealousy and discontent).

So, to long to not leave the boat I think is safe is to actually be in rebellion.

What it will mean to jump out: It will mean I jump head-first into mothering and into being a homemaker, though it's scary and new and something I never saw myself being. It means letting go of what some may think of me. Some that I'd rather still view me as edgy. However, It does not mean letting go of some of the things I enjoyed about my wild side. My adventures and spontaneity are just different but still there. I will still be who God made me. I found myself trying to be what I thought a stay at home mom should look like and have wound up miserable. But, I can be completely me and completely in this new line of work. This is my calling and has been in God's plan for my life since I was in my own mother's womb. It's something he has equipped me for and my past does not hinder me from being a great wife and mother, but can help me minister, teach and raise my children in different and sometimes better ways than if I had never experienced some of the things I experienced. In Deuteronomy God tells the Israelites to never forget what God has done: blessings and punishments. And, He instructs them to teach their children with these experiences.

I am missing out on the fulness of life and what this life could be by having one leg in and one leg out of where God wants me. Even if this is never where I thought I would be, I know it's exactly where I should be.

What's your boat and what are you missing out of because you won't jump out and walk towards Jesus?

Credits:
Blue Ridge Community Church: Jeremy Wilkinson- "Fear"
Liz Curtis Higgs Really Bad Girls of the Bible