The past few days/week, I have been listening to sermons instead of wasting time on Facebook or having the tv on. It was one of my kinda new year's resolution. I needed to find a way to open myself up to God more throughout the day. With a toddler, a part time job and life my hour long devotionals in the early morning hours are no longer a feasible option for me.
I have been searching and seeking answers to problems in what I thought was the right way. I brought my concerns to the Lord's feet and asked for wisdom in all of these things. However, through a series of sermons from different pastors from different churches, I have found the answer.
He needs to be my focus.
Of course we all say this. We say it all the time. But, is He really my focus when I'm asking for help here or there or with this person or this situation? No, my focus is on the problem. This is what I tend to do and didn't even realize I was doing it.
"God, give me peace about blank."
"God, give me wisdom of how to deal with blank."
"God, heal my heart about blank."
"God, help me to be a better blank."
None of these prayers are wrong, but God got a hold of my heart and said: "Be quiet. You need to seek me."
You see I was becoming increasingly frustrated that, in spite of my seeking God for answers to my problems, I was met with more turmoil. I was not seeking God. I was just simply seeking a solution to my problems. Most of my requests were based in my own fears as opposed to a true want for holiness in me or in a situation.
BUT, we serve a gracious God who lovingly corrects us even when we think we are "being holy".
And, I am seeing how God is blessing me in being obedient to substitute a message for a Facebook scroll or an episode of Gilmore girls during nap time/laundry time. It's not how I thought. We don't think of correction as blessings, but they are. Just having some hope as to why my peace is gone and how to fix it is an enormous blessing.
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