I've posted before about how breastfeeding is a hot topic. I have both ends of the spectrum in my life and I would like to think I fall somewhere in the middle. I've had equal amount of people appalled that I supplemented and those that cannot believe I am still feeding with no real intention of stopping right at a year.

I guess my stance is this: Do what is best for you and your family.

When I was pregnant, our family made the choice for me to stay at home. We are blessed but losing my salary hit us hard and breastfeeding was free. There was no deep, idealized picture in my head. Simply something I hoped I could do to help my family financially.

For the first 3-4 mos I suffered clogged ducts, infections, and mastitis. My only goal was to make it six months. This seemed less possible when I had to supplement after a particularly nasty bout of mastitis. I was one of the unlucky few who have a decrease in milk supply as a result. My husband and I made a choice to supplement. This choice was made after days and days of a hungry, screaming child, a crying, helpless mama and a frustrated Daddy. I went to the store and cried as I grabbed the formula, and felt ashamed as I checked out.

*Let me pause here. If I could go back in time, I would grab that tired, weary mama's face and tell her the following: "You have braved sickness and pain to feed your baby. You are doing the right thing right now. Hold your head high and never, ever feel guilty or ashamed for doing what's best for your child." If you have ever shamed a mama for buying formula to supplement or a mama who chose to formula feed, or simply introduced a bottle soon so that Daddy could feed baby,: you should be ashamed of yourself. Ashamed. *

From 6 mos- the present I have still battled clogged ducts here and there, but feeding has become second nature to me. We still have the formula for overnight stays with auntie or grandparents, but very rarely use it at home. We have a beautiful rhythm that has ebbs and flows just as anything else in life. However, as the year approaches I find myself receiving the question more and more: Aren't you going to wean soon? And, so another round of shaming and judgement ensues.

*Let me pause here. Since I am not the girl in the aisle, cowering because she feels like a failure having to buy formula, I can say with confidence: I will wean when I damn well feel it is best for my child. Yes, it's emotional comfort for both baby and me. However, it's also still beneficial health wise (http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleaderweb/lv/lvdec00jan01p112.html......if you don't believe me). And for my child and me it's what is right. Now, my baby may or may not need to go much past a year. Your family may have stopped for ANY of MANY reasons: AND THATS OKAY.

My son won't care how long he was breastfeed (he'd probably rather not think of his mom's boobs for any reason) and I really don't want him to care. However, I want to give him the example that I confidently and bravely did what was best for him and for my family. That's what you should want to teach your children.

So, pregnant mamas, do what's best for you. You will know in your gut. And, if anyone tries to guilt you, scare you, or shame you, they are self-conscious about their own choices of how they are raising or raised their kids and need to validate themselves by controlling you.

Buy that formula, confidently.
Nurse that babe, confidently.
Wean at 3, 6, 10 mos or 2 years, confidently.

Be a fierce Mama-bear who does what's right for her family no matter what.

PS: To all the shamers out there  (on either end of the spectrum) :🖕🏻