Forgiveness

The running theme in my spiritual life is forgiveness. I am sorry if that and fear seem to always come up in every post, but I write what God puts on my heart and for some reason forgiveness and fear are the two most popular themes in my spirit. And they have alliteration and God knows I am a literary dork at heart.

God gave me a good Word on Sunday as I was feeling extremely tired (carrying a human will do that to you). He also pressed upon my heart to memorize it and tuck it away in my soul as I would need it.

Genesis 50:20-21

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children. And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

I knew the context of this verse and I knew that it was said by a man to his brothers. However, God's Word is God-breathed and He can and does use every single word to get a point across. I tucked this verse away and through some trials and setbacks was able to lean on this verse when fear tried to grip me about the safety of my unborn son, God's goodness, and my future with my husband.

Now, later in the week, God is using those same words to teach me another lesson. Let's stop and think of how this is an example of the LIVING Word of God. He can use the same verse and teach me two completely different, seemingly unrelated things. This verse is about Joseph forgiving his brothers and then taking care of them. Its one thing to forgive someone, but then its a completely different story to care for them and have them be involved in your life. And, not to mention, his brothers were awful people.

Let's look at their track record:
Massacred a whole town through trickery and deceit and pure bloodlust for their Dinah's (their sister) "honor". Even though the man that stole her honor may or may not have done so because Dinah also wished it to happen and they were married immediately afterwards. We never know Dinah's side of the story. But I am not sure she wanted her in-laws viciously chopped down.

Sold their brother into slavery in hopes that he would eventually die just because they were jealous of his relationship with Jacob, their father.

So, just a simple free pass at "I won't kill you," would have been more than enough for Joseph to offer to these men who sold him into slavery and left him for dead. But Joseph goes a step further and takes care of them. Invites them to his land and in community with him.

Wait....what? But they're dangerous! They could try and harm him! He doesn't owe them anything!!! He is absolutely justified in making them suffer for their entire lives of selfishness and violence.

"Exactly my point," God whispers as I read this and see it clearly for the first time.

That's how forgiveness works. It's given when its not deserved. Its given when it doesn't make sense. Its given for us and not for them. I used to look at my life and think that there were a lot of apologies I deserved, but I am realizing now that its more so the fact that I need to give more forgiveness. I need to allow God to soften my heart and open my eyes to what His will is and not my own.

Why doesn't God EVER allow me to karate chop anyone? WHY?!?

God gives us great words of  peace for us, but He always has a lesson to draw us closer to Him and make us more holy. Thank goodness He offers us forgiveness when we don't deserve it.