There are some weeks when God speaks to you, daily. I find myself in one of those weeks. Though, I feel like its an inopportune time as I have plenty to do in preparation for little man's arrival in the upcoming month. However, God very rarely agrees that our timetable is best. Fortunately, He is always right 100% of the time.
Today was repentance.
"Gross, God. Let's not do this right now. Teach me something feel good and awesome. I prayed for victory over Satan and the battles of this life. Give me a pep talk," I said under my breath as I dove into my devotions this morning.
But, if we want to move from rec league to varsity, God expects us to grapple with the challenging truths of His love and not just the cushy ones. AND if we truly want to be star players on God's team and achieve victory, then we must tangle with the little hooks in our souls that drag us down. You can't sprint down the field, out-running others for a touchdown if you have never moved faster than a walk before. It takes work and stamina built up over time.
So, repentance. God hit me with a truth today that I didn't want to hear: "You are so focused on what was done to you that you forget what you did to others and to Me."
OUCH! We humans love the victim card. LOVE it. Even when we say haughty statements like: "I'm a fighter; not a victim," we don't truly mean it. Deep down we love to put the blame on others. It hurts taking responsibility for your actions. We also love to have excuses to do pretty much what we want and not what God wants: "I can say this because he/she did this to me."
So when I was asked in Margaret Feinberg's Bible study Fight Back with Joy, to list the things that bring God anger I was unsettled by what I found. I was expecting to say: "Oh yeah! Bleep did that to me and so God's going to be mad at her." or "Oh! That's a bad one...glad I've never done that."
What I got was a check next to almost everyone. What?! But I am seeking God, praying for those I don't like, serving, and really trying! How can my heart be so out of sync with what makes God happy? I could barely focus on the rest of the study as I was so burdened by the verses at the beginning. Its funny how God uses something unrelated to your issues at hand to seek Him more.
Proverbs 6:16-19
There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:
Haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies
and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers (community in some translations)
Ezekiel 35:14-15
This is what the Sovereign LORD says: While the whole earth rejoices, I will make you desolate. Because you rejoiced when the inheritance of the house of Israel became desolate, that is how I will treat you. You will be desolate, O Mount Seir, you and all of Edom. Then they will know that I am LORD.
In all honesty, I have displayed ALL of those things that God despises in the past few months (Well...I haven't killed anyone....but have thought about it as we've discussed in previous posts). I've even wished desolation on certain people. Yes, desolation. I wanted them to feel ruin and have intense sorrow and grief for what they've done. Yes, I was praying for them, but did I truly want them to have joy and peace? Not really. Plus, God is the only one that can issue or desire desolation for someone. And it always has a purpose: The purpose of knowing He is LORD. Even when God issues desolation for someone it is so they can know who He is and have a relationship with Him.
A lying tongue? I love a good, funny story and sometimes you have to add exaggeration here and there. That's LYING. A heart that devises wicked schemes? Even if the schemes are never to come true we all have fantasies where we are the hero and the wicked villain gets their ruin. We are not the hero. God is. Feet that are quick to rush into evil? Looking at posts and pictures that I know will stir up hatred and bitterness is most certainly moving toward evil and not running towards God. Stirring up dissension? I don't do that! Yeah, I do. Gossip. Spreading "news" about someone IS gossip.
Many of those go even deeper and darker for me. And if we were honest, we all have a propensity to fall into those sins quite quickly no matter where we are on our walk with God.
The saddest part is that we grieve God with these things. We HURT Him. The Great I AM. The one who rescues us and forgives over and over again. I hurt Him with each of my sins. You hurt Him with each of yours. Talk about slapping a gift horse in the mouth (does anyone really know what that really means?). It makes me want to cry out to Him: "Show me how to fix this!!! Please!! I am sorry!!"
The beauty of God is that He does. Our cry of apology is a sweet song to His ear. Our need for Him and realization that we have wronged Him and need restoration brings a smile to His face and He is at our side in an instant with a plan.
He's waiting. Take a leap of faith and search your own heart and then cry out to Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment