The Long Journey Ahead

As the months turn into weeks until Little Man's entrance, I think of what childbirth truly is all about.

It's terrifying if you think about it too much.

It's awesome if you think about just enough.

It truly is a dangerous excursion for mother and baby. Modern medicine has made it safer as many women and babies who would have died 100 years ago now live (though some would argue its also taken away from some of the more beautiful qualities of childbirth....and the sense of power and control a woman can have over bringing life into this world). But, modern medicine can never take away the unpredictability of life. Modern medicine can never take away what God reserves solely for Himself: The giving and taking away of life.

As I ponder the adventure that awaits on that day that Little Man signals its time to go, I can't help but think God's way of making it easier that we have to suffer pain in childbirth is the fact that we get to share, intimately, the giving of life. Yes, others can watch, but we get to assist in the process of a human entering this world. We not only play a role, but we are an integral role.

I don't deserve that. I don't deserve to have a hand in a miracle. I don't even deserve to observe. But He gives me this chance anyway. He's given me 9 mos. of feeling this baby grow inside of me. Birth is only the culmination of many miracles. God has allowed me to be a part of 36 weeks of miracles.

The fact that Luke and I created a child together is a miracle in itself. Its no secret that we've had our struggles, troubles, and trials. Its no secret that we've both made mistakes and that there are people that look at our relationship and wonder how it could have survived. And, unfortunately, its no secret that there are people that truly did everything they could to make sure it didn't survive. But, in spite of us and others, God allowed us to be vessels of a human that was created only out of our genes. Little Man could not be Little Man without the two of us. No other two people could have created him.

Just when we thought all was lost a whisper was made by God and life was breathed into my belly. Just when it looked like love had failed, a beginning took place in a torrent of cells splitting and growing. Just when crushing truths seemed to bring darkness, light grew with fingers and toes. God's grace and glory were made apparent, not through the might of men, but through the slow flutters of a growing babe. As the kicks and limbs have grown stronger so has the realization of God's love and forgiveness. As the countdown begins and Little Man grows bigger and turns to make his entrance,  God's mercy gathers in a hurricane and grows and grows and grows. I feel my body caught up in the storm and racing towards a great, grand performance of God. He is the maestro and He is warming up for a moment where all of His preparation will be revealed. A baby boy will be presented and we will see a body that represents goodness in darkness and laughter  in tears. We will see a boy that is ours and no one else's. We will see a miracle. A miracle. A miracle

God takes our broken and weak parts to make wholeness. He takes darkness and makes it light. He takes dead and makes it life. He takes old and worn out and makes it new. He gives undeserved, miracle-gifts. He delights in His children delighting in His blessings.

He is good. He is good. He is good.